So long, my friend

It’s been a long time I haven’t posted anything to this blog. But if you still read me from time to time, here’s a link to a more personal, discordant daily life of mine.

Chicken and beer thoughts

I’ve been away; here and there. One time in Seoul, the other in outer space – so much on my mind. There is so much I want to do, and so many places I want to visit at the same time. My grandpa, my dad, my mom, my friends. All of them now in different continents.

My priority now is my grandfather and my grandmothers. They are in China, and it’s been four years since I last hugged them. My sister just had a flight to Panama, I stayed in Madrid. On December, perhaps, I will plan on a South Korea- China trip :).

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Atrévete a competir

 

Empezamos con esta pequeña historia de Halla Tómasdóttir, una empresaria islandesa. Tiene dos charlas en TED, una hablando de su testimonio como candidata a la presidencia, otra, sobre su vida profesional en el mundo financiero.

Sus ideas son dos: (1) Es más fácil cambiar las cosas desde el interior y (2) es hora de que más mujeres lideren [‘los retos a los que se enfrenta el mundo no se van a resolver por testosterona sola’].

Hablando de su experiencia en el mundo de las finanzas,  Halla Tómasdóttir, nos adentra en un sector que está dominado por el otro género. Su historia comienza con Vigdís Finnbogadóttir, la primera mujer presidenta en Islandia, una madre soltera y divorciada, y la influencia de muchos. Nos explica que los modelos a seguir importan, e importan mucho.

vigdis_icelandicpresidentNos cuenta sobre el impacto de una huelga, y sobre la importancia que puede tener la mujer en la economía y en la sociedad – y el momento en el que se dio cuenta de ello. Es 24 de Octubre de 1975, y miles de mujeres islandesas cesan sus actividades una vez su trabajo deja de ser retribuido en un movimiento que llamaran el día libre de la mujer (‘Woman’s day off’). Una huelga que paralizó al país y sirve de precedente para convertir a Islandia en uno de los países más igualitarios del mundo. Cinco años después, Vigdis, gana las elecciones generales.

A pesar de ello, desafortunadamente aún queda mucho por hacer. Es por ello que Halla, al igual que muchas otras mujeres, y también hombres, instan a que tomemos rienda de un mundo que necesita oír lo que cada uno de nosotros tiene que decir. Vengamos de donde vengamos y sin importar bajo qué circunstancias hemos sido creados. Somos diferentes, no hay que olvidarlo, y en nuestras diferencias hay que luchar por encontrar un punto de encuentro.

Queramos o no, las mujeres nos enfrentamos a problemas que no tienen cabida en el género masculino: tenemos el peso de ser portadoras de vida, amamantamos y damos a luz, y somos productos de unas normas y costumbres sociales, impuestas culturalmente- tanto por hombres y mujeres- que nos hacen un flaco favor.

Encontrar un punto de encuentro significa que la labor tanto de hombres o mujeres sea valorada igualmente. Que el peso económico del hogar no tenga que caer por norma en el hombre, o que la falta de una figura materna no se reproche más que la de un padre. Valorar la labor del hombre que se queda en casa es tan importante como el de la mujer que ha tenido que dar una conferencia a 1000 km del hogar. Premiamos a quienes ponen su carrera primero; y olvidamos a quienes no. La mujer que ha decidido poner su carrera por delante es tan importante como la que no. La que ha decidido no tener hijos, como la que sí. Acostumbramos al dilema hogar-familia y normalizamos una supuesta elección que realmente no existe.

Sino, que te lo explique Anne Marie en una charla TED en la que nos explica las dificultades a las que se ha tenido que enfrentar a la hora de lidiar con lo profesional y personal. Se insta a tenerlo todo, a perseguir posiciones de liderazgo y a la perfección en el hogar, pero pocas veces se nos habla de lo difícil que es, y de los doble estándares a los que nos enfrentamos.

Ella no insta en valorar la igualdad y el poder de la mujer en ‘términos masculinos’, sino crear un respeto mutuo para las decisiones que decidan tomar cada uno. Y para ello hace falta un cambio de mentalidad. Es verdad que el mundo laboral ha sido condicionado, construido y moldeado en su generalidad en bases del sector masculino y también es verdad, que el peso laboral normalmente ha recaído en el hombre. Pero afortunadamente los tiempos cambian y siguen cambiando; es hora de hacer que las políticas, regulaciones y expectativas vayan a la par.

En sus tiempos mis abuelas tuvieron que luchar por su derecho a voto, mi madre por su educación y mis tías siguen luchando por su conciliación laboral.

Antes no escuchábamos de Katherine Coleman, una matemática de piel oscura que trabajo para la NASA y cuya historia ha estado relegada, hoy vemos su película en los cines a través de Hidden Figures. Poco sabemos de Chien-Shiung Wu, conocida como la ‘Marie Curie de China’ y una de las físicas más importantes de su época. Fue la primera mujer en presidir la Academia de la Física en Estados unidos y se le conoce por haber participado en el proyecto Manhattan y por su contribución para separar el uranio en U-238 y U-235. Fue clave para refutar la teoría de la paridad por el que diseño y condujo lo que se conoce como “Wu Experiment” – experimento de la no paridad, hecho que le valió a Lee y Yang (dos científicos) el premio Nobel de Física (1957).

Quizás hablar más de ellas sirva para inspirar a otras muchas más niñas y decirles que no- no hay límites; el límite está donde ellas quieren que esté. Somos maravillosos, todos.

Mujeres y hombres hacemos historia. No es una lógica exclusiva, sino una inclusiva. No es un o hombres o mujeres, es un y, uno de balance, de dialogo, de encuentro y de lucha. Somos iguales, pero también diferentes, no hay que olvidarlo, y en nuestras diferencias hay que luchar por encontrar un punto de encuentro.

The billionaire american dream

With all this recent tumult about the surprising event that happened this Tuesday regarding the United States elections; many ask how is it that half of the United States citizens who voted, chose to vote for such a surreal character like Donald Trump to become the 45th president of the first world power. Perhaps, giving him hold of one of the most powerful world leader title on earth with all the limitations his presidency might encounter.

All this regardless of how he behaved throughout his whole campaign (and life). It  just didn’t seem to matter at all. Not his misogynist comments, not his racist, indifferent views or what he apparently stands for.

I’m extremely surprised that in a seemingly normal and rational democracy his running for president have not been put in doubt or asked to be withdrawn to the point that he has, finally, became president. It seems as people surrendered, they surrendered to their hopes of something different. And as we did not take him seriously; neither did his voters, I conclude.
In the aims of a desperate try for something different, his race took place and his presidency we met. In choosing the same, we desperate for thinking the predictive future. People are tired of the status quo, which is what Hillary presidency meant for a lot of people: her many years of experience, her apparent continuance of the current White House policies, her elitist and not trusted profile and the most backlashed one- the “liar” tittle that carried throughout her whole campaign. She couldn’t win the people’s vote standing against such an opponent. People just didn’t trust her. And I believe that having just half of the population standing with her against such a character like Trump, only means, that even those who voted for her did because they had no option. But not because they wanted her as a president, nonetheless, to let her be the first female president of the US.

It was as everyone said “choosing the two of the lesser evils”.

In a presidential race with the two most unpopular candidates in the US history. It wasn’t clear for me. I wasn’t an advocate for either two, not Hillary, not Trump.

But If I had to choose someone to govern me, I’d like someone prepared, an analyst who doesn’t just act on impulse, someone more rational than comical, someone that stands for the values I believe in, and in that, I would have wanted Hillary to become president.

*But i’m not a us citizen, neither do I live there, but it matters to me, as it matters to many other who take the US as an influence for democracy. It matters even to those who hate the US.*

But have I watched the debates, listened more to what each candidate had to say and understand what each position means. I’d have advocated for Hillary sooner than later. Please, understand, people who vote, that this one day change means a change in the course of History, you might not notice it now, but you never know what upcoming policies means, how it changes people’s life.

And now, I can only hope for the best. And that all this campaign was just a joke. That Trump is actually another person, that he didn’t meant what he said. That he’s taking all this very seriously and not just as a little kid dream, that he understands the dimensions of his position and that he’ll be what the world needs, that he’ll turn out to be a great president, or If I ask too much, that he’ll be at least decent.

All this entails that I’m forgetting about his whole campaign, all this entails that I’m ignoring the marriage he has. His “grab them by the pussy”, his “Obama is the founder of ISIS”, his plenty “we’re gonna build a wall”, his Chinese backlash for stealing jobs in America, his apparent views on world trade policies, etc.

But now I would start talking about how I really feel. How this all makes me feel.

I feel saddened, I feel saddened for women, I feel sad for inclusivity, I feel sad for diversity. If anything this election has taught us, apart from the fact that we’re not listening, is that our interests, our very own interests come before anything else, that those interests null us from the very other people issues, that a reality we don’t live is just not our reality. My LGBT friends, my muslims friends, the different minorities, I’m sorry we keep failing you.

In any other rational society, a presidency like TRUMP would have never taken place. After all the campaign was tinted with racist, misogynist, hateful and unfounded comments, he kept going on. He was just the meme of the moment, the presidential joke who made comments about women’s bodies, Mexicans, etc. I feel saddened, I feel saddened today, specially for women. I feel extremely sad to have a first lady like Melania Trump. I feel extremely saddened for those hard working women who has had to fight for what they believed in yet didn’t see results. I feel sad for the ambitious career Hillary has hold, for all her achievements, and yet she lost to an inexperienced misogynist racist candidate.

As simplistic as this statement seems, it holds a truth we can’t deny.

 

Life at its sweetest, slow down.

It’s been a year full of ups and downs and experiences beyond belief. Last time I looked at my life, everything was a mixture of happiness and sadness I could not tell apart any of it, whether I was happy or sad I could not differentiate, but one thing, for sure: I was feeling. But I was also overwhelmed. And it just took me a few months to realize that life is better when lived slowly, it simply tastes better, it feels better.

I have always been the kind of person that would not know what to do with my life, I have always been cautious and skeptical of those who seem so sure about what they’re doing, but also, in a way, I know they’re the ones that will lead on their life. I thought, maybe, it was time for me to think more clearly about what I really want, whereas is in my personal life or professional one.

But again, in a constant nonstop race towards new experiences and perspectives, and people’s and life. I felt so lost, I’ve felt carried away by the unimportant things: the same 3 am bars, the parties, the people’s, the same dinners and the most harmful of all, the shitty comparisons.

I didn’t knew it back then, I perhaps still don’t know it truly, but I’ve lived my life day by day with temporal external satisfactions that I’ve lost sense of any long term goal or purpose, I haven’t really gotten myself one. And in that I stress for the time lost and the time I didn’t take advantage of. In my exchange bubble, I kept thinking life was about having fun, but it also entails hard work.

Have I learned anything from this? I have, perhaps more than I want to acknowledge, I’ve seen a different side of education, relationships, college culture, and what seems like an American middle east mindset, that in a sense clashes with my childhood love for the east cost and my west coast vibes. I got trapped in between; in a choice I didn’t want at first but that I learned to love on my way there, perhaps I had to learn appreciation, which I didn’t practice.

But in my takeaway from this, is my many mistakes I had the opportunity to make, the many many I’ve learnt from. The many failures who have helped built a more understanding mature self of mine. And in my biggest regret, not knowing truly what was given to me.

This is perhaps my biggest mortified regret- not appreciating what I had.

Decide. Just don’t get frozen, my love!

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“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” –Theodore Roosevelt

My inability to be decisive in moments of incertitude has so far given me more hardships and dreadful outcomes that I would’ve expected… or willing to take. That indecisiveness of mine is taking me back to places I don’t want to be, dragging me out of all opportunities I could have taken, and so I just sit down here, doing nothing, cause indecisiveness really harms any way of doing anything.

I just recently came to an article where the underlying idea of what actually made people successful was they were decisive, they acted fast, they’re never frozen. It didn’t actually say it made them successful but that it was one trait they had, don’t get me wrong.

And I can’t help but agree. I think back of the many times I did nothing mainly because I couldn’t take a decision. You go, you go, you don’t go, you don’t go, and that’s it! You have your weekend free and can do whatever you want without thinking things over and over.

I tend to be the epitome of the ‘I don’t know’, and my friends know me for that. I’m never sure or certain about something, and I deeply believe you shouldn’t, but there are times we shouldn’t be so taken aback and stand straight, mind in place, eyes in deep, and walking ahead.

Experience has told me so far: you’re never going places if you’re always so unsure of anything. Even in our most spontaneous self, we take decisions; and we’re in need of rules to live by, know what we want and what we don’t and what we can’t trespass. Think of this as my little tip to you:

– We all live by rules, it’s fun and we need them

– But also know they are meant to be broken!

– Don’t get frozen by indecisiveness! Pretty often a mistake is better than lying there letting time pass by, we regret mistakes, sure, but we regret even more not doing anything!

I just recently came across a podcast that went like: Simple rules for a complex world, you have the link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-pujS_7OHM if you want to listen to it, or well.. watch it in this case 🙂

It’s a bit long though, but if you have the time, It’s worth grasping the idea!

What do you think?

Spring again

Spring again.

Which feels like summer, I’ve never really differentiated them, spring afternoons have always felt like summer nights to me.

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You know what I love about this weather?

The breeze and the sound of the people. So far in my last 10 years, I’ve always lived in a flat, with a park downstairs, and every time when the hot weather would come, I open my window and listen to people, I don’t do it purposely, it’s just the background sound when I’m reading, cooking, or typing. And I really like it. You also hear birds more often, and you cannot stay at home, It just doesn’t feel that good or right.

IMG_8550 copySpring for me means good weather, and that’s why everytime about this year I would think back on what I did last year, and how I spent those good weather moments. It’s also the time of the year where my birthday is near. I would think back of the people I used to have so close around me, but however, were not meant to be kept around.

It’s the moment where I would get nostalgic, I would think about my life, and what is going around, because life in spring passes so slow, and so fast that it scares, life in spring is so good, so good I’m afraid.

Life in spring is actually depressing for me. Because it’s about life.

A life that goes away so fast, a life that doesn’t seem so sure for me, at least.

Is it…?

IMG_0547 copyIt seems to me, that my friends, if not one, the other, are constantly taking turns to get life stuck so close to their nose that it hurts their eyes.
If you say to me that life is pretty meaningless, well yes, I would have to agree with you, but then I’m not really with you… It’s just that once…, maybe, once in a while, I do have those thoughts. But then again, as we have many reasons to be depressed at, I think there are as well many others to be happy at. Continue reading

About angels on earth

Today is my day 3, almost ending. The weather is just as nice as always, rain, hot… And as humid as Panama. They both resemble a lot, except for the fact that here will be always China.

Processed with VSCOcam with c1 presetNow I’m sitting on the sofa of my uncle, my mother’s brother, we are near the airport so I can see airplanes and hear them pretty often, buildings are not so high because of that reason (as you can imagine).

Life here is quite tranquil. My uncle owns a grocery shop, sometimes he would sit and attend people when they buy things, but that’s not what he usually does (at least in summer time). You would often see him sitting with people drinking tea and chatting, with the tv just in front and the air up there in their heads, and from time to time you’d smell some cigarette.

 

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First impressions

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It’s just been one day here that I’m back in China for leisure and to visit some relatives here and there. So before my first impressions get kind of dirty, I might as well hurry myself and write them, just to let them be, you know. Well, actually, im quite of lying in here, its not that i havent been here and stuff, but you can guess, i said im back. Continue reading